Why “A Conscious Time”?
We are all mostly in a “dream state” and the aim of this blog/project is to assist in “awakening” to the truth and to realising who we really are.
This could sound a little… “out there” but don’t get stuck on words and before some of you have thoughts like, “here we go”, or “one of these blogs” etc ha ha, please try stay open-minded and hang around.
This blog/project was inspired by a period in time which shook me to awareness, bringing a “A Conscious Time” to life.
The following is a little background of “who I am” and how I arrived at “A Conscious Time.” I put “who I am” in inverted commas(I use them a lot by the way, as words do not necessarily define exactly what they intend), as who we truly are is more than what we are told, see and who we think we are – which is the essence of this blog/project.
I would also go on to say, that the essence and “goal”(contradictory as we do not need to strive or achieve this but more a case of realisation and awareness)of this blog, is to live a life of true purpose, peace and joy, which is present and inherent in us.
It sounds a little cliche, I know. True nonetheless and very exciting – challenging too at times to say the least but absolutely worth it.
“A genuine change must first come from within the individual, only then can he or she attempt to make a significant contribution to humanity.” 14th Dalai Lama.
“And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.” Romans 13:11
I have intended this blog not to be about “me” as such, although I will obviously be writing on things I have experienced and do experience, so others can connect and learn. Teaching is sharing and learning. We are all connected and very much the same and experience the same things. We are one.
Ultimately, it would be great if this blog evolved into a living, breathing, collaborative project and a resource for many people to draw and build from, taking this “Conscious Time” further. From a conscious perspective, we are as a collective, becoming more conscious and can all assist in realising/furthering this.
My name is Marc Desvaux de Marigny(yes, it’s long), I was born in South Africa in 1980, a regular guy, raised middle class and not really wanting for anything necessarily, without going into further details.
I traveled internationally for work straight after school of which many trips were with my wife, whom I have been with since 1999. This in itself has been great enlightenment – a relationship will certainly aid in this, if you are aware. Also due to the fact that she had suffered and sometimes still does suffer from depression(very minimally now), mostly due to a tough childhood etc. Ironically and retrospectively it turns out I had major issues too but this is the hard part to see, isn’t it?
As far as qualifications go, I don’t have any currently. I will say, that I have thought on and analysed the meaning of life, where we come from and people’s behaviours for as long as I can remember. This has been my greatest passion and practical “qualification”, of which I have also drawn my experiences and learning from many books and resources along the way. I do believe this blog/project has been spirit lead.
Meditation is a part my life now since 2013 and I cannot recommend it enough and believe it to be a major path to “enlightenment”, truth, God – call it what you will at this point.
In short, the catalyst for me to write and set up this blog, was due to a very trying time in life to say the least, as mentioned.
This time in life caused great pain and suffering…BUT catapulted me to true awakening.
In a nutshell, my wife and I were back in London, this time from 2011 – 2016 and during this time, life had started getting more “stressful”. We had traveled back and forth from London(other countries too for work but London mostly)to South Africa for some time and never really having found roots. I was wondering what I was doing with life and work was “pressurising” too, not to mention living in a tiny place with no sun. I was getting older but seemingly not “getting” anywhere.
“My” fear was basically a combination of the standard “baggage” we all have, to various fears, ranging from lack of money(living in the belief of scarcity as opposed to the abundance already there), guilt for many things, to my Ego which is the centre of it all. What leads a lot of us to this point, is the combination of these fears and fearful events, paradigms and beliefs we have going on in our minds constantly.
I am not going to go into detail but at one point during this specific “hard” time and after a time battling to sleep and having very anxious looping thoughts – which had been going on for months acutely, if not many years to a lesser degree, when looking back(I believe most of us live this way, more or less) – I almost called the ambulance as I thought either my head would explode or my heart. My looping thoughts had become so habitual(I thought I could think my way out of it) and I was not in a great place to put it mildly. I actually thought to myself, “I don’t think I will EVER recover from this.”
I meant that mentally and physically. Mentally because I felt I had scarred my mind and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel – fear breeds fearful thinking. Health wise because I believed my stress was damaging my body – health had been my one perceived strength and “control” in my life and it looked or felt like it was slipping away. I could not listen to my usual rock/alternate music; I cried; worried about my health; lack of sleep; body literally felt like it was buzzing. Not nice at all.
At this one climatic point, I just…LET GO…of everything.
I thought I might just die there and then and I just surrendered to everything – work; stress; love; wants; dreams; relationships; guilt; ambitions; having to perform etc etc – everything. I surrendered to death itself. This was a very freeing – I wasn’t clinging to anything anymore – I was free.
It is amazing what stress and anxiety can do to the body but rest assured you will be fine – I am. I used to laugh out of ignorance at people who suffered from anxiety. I mean, I am 6’3, played rugby throughout school, surfed all my life, mixed martial arts for 2 years etc – I cannot be anxious! What would all the boys back home say!? Ha ha but not really that funny at the time. London living can be hard too, especially for people who come from the sunny sides of the world but also in general. City living is not ideal I feel but not a main factor.
So, it was an intense time in life to say the least, but as mentioned before, a great awakening.
I wrote down my thoughts and feelings, researched, soul searched and read more books – applicable books actually, that came into my life at that time – “Seek and ye shall find”.
At the end of it all and obviously struggling still at times, learning/awakening and having discovered many treasures such as meditation, awareness and who we are, I can honestly say I found the peace of God – that which we already have.
As mentioned, this time catapulted me towards true awakening, peace, joy and to living in the present – there is always a lesson in pain.
Looking around and speaking to more and more people and seeing the suffering(not necessarily major suffering but suffering non the less)and hearing their stories, I felt compelled to set something up for others to connect and find purpose, peace and joy.
I did think to myself, who do I think I am to impart this “knowledge”? As far as the world is concerned, I am no one “special”. I have no degrees nor accolades, not to mention very little accrued wealth – worldly speaking. And what does all this really mean?
And why must we wait for these things to be “achieved” and for the world to tell us who we are before we feel we can now impart and share – that which we know and have experienced and learnt. That which could possibly help others and share a journey along the way…
Finding peace, joy and eventually truth, is this not the ultimate “achievement”? This in turn effecting every facet of life.
I will say that I don’t pretend to have all the answers – far from it. I believe I have only just scratched the surface – truly the more you know and learn, the more you realise you don’t know. We learn every day(the reason for time)and I too have “bad days” from time to time. Not to mention that I am no saint, nor do I have a rosy past either ha ha. But with awareness and knowing who we are as the backdrop, we can understand these “bad days” and they become fewer and far between, that is for sure. We are learning are we not?
So, hopefully this underpins what this blog/project is about. I feel this is a “practical” way towards spiritual growth as I found “enlightenment” in a busy bustling city(still currently “bustling”) with the usual “stresses” of life, most of us deal with daily – which I don’t think is how we should be living, generally speaking.
Backdrop To Who We Really Are:
To go back to what I said earlier, about who we truly as our backdrop…
I meant that we are life itself, we are truth, we are love, NOT fear and I will go further to say we were created by God out of love, which I cannot deny anymore. For those that know and believe this to be true, fantastic. For those that don’t, please don’t run away just yet…
I don’t mean God in the way some of us have been “scarred” over the years by people, even those close to us who have used “God” to further their own agendas and ego’s. We can build quite a big list I am sure but these are or were people like anyone else – some more lost than others, without going into further detail.
I mean the guiltless, truthful, loving God. There will be elements and principles based on the Christian God in this blog but universal in principle too, so please hang around, be open-minded and try and reserve judgment. Forget what you think you know about God and empty yourself, starting afresh and in the present.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid to find out your true nature – your greatness, your inherent peace, love and joy…God? Ultimately, this IS what you truly want.
Time to awaken and be aware of this.
A Conscious Time.
Note: This blog/project is intended to be for sharing and a stepping stone towards enlightenment, awareness and awakening. Please do not become obsessed or ritualistic with any of the content.
Sometimes pain will be experienced as you awaken but this is good, just be aware and stay open. This will awaken some to go further or deeper. In truth, the answers lie deep within us all – we are the light and have the light of God already.
Depending on where you are in life, you may or may not be ready/receptive for some of this content but please do not worry or cast it aside abruptly. It may or may not sow a seed now but it could possibly later in life.
Remember, we are constantly making choices, consciously or subconsciously in our daily living. So, make sure you are putting in what you want out of life but ultimately – be kind to yourself and walk in Love.