Letting Go of Anger – Realising Your Peace Within

Letting go of anger can be one of the most profound and “enlightening” things to happen and “awaken” to, allowing your natural peace within to be realised.

This may sound quite obvious but we do require a certain amount of awareness to be able to see when anger arises in order for us to let go of it.

We see life through the eyes of the beholder…literally. There are numerous studies on how, just physically through our eyesight, we only see what we want or what we are focused on. Can you imagine then, living a life constantly being angry

I know all to well what it is like to live with anger but sometimes you don’t even realise you are carrying this anger

There is nothing “wrong” with experiencing anger, as with our other emotions we experience and there is an appropriate time for it – not often though I might add. But when anger becomes a habitual reaction or a tool we may think will solve our problems, then it is time to step back and become aware.

Realising my anger was definitely a major “penny dropping” moment. Becoming aware of anger can truly start to pave a way to seeing life literally in a different light and allowing our peace, that which is our natural state within, to be realised.

Anger however, can lie masked and hidden behind many emotions, feelings and situations in life.

How long, I realised I had lived parts of life with so much anger and wasted so much energy, as anger is truly an energy waster and such a burden.

I believe anger to be a major “stumbling block” if I can call it that and pivotal to many of our sufferings and not allowing us to flourish. We all have stories which we have identified with, that cause our “different” states of anger but if we can firstly be aware when it arises and ask, “why”, then that is already a major step in letting it go.

As stated in other posts, there is always a lesson in pain, which is the universal indicator to change or awaken to a circumstance.
That goes for both the “physical” and “spiritual” aspects. So, embrace pain for what it offers in the way of learning.

Where Does Anger Come From?

What a question…

What is anger but defensiveness and a reaction to Fear. It is no wonder that anger is such an underlying emotion that keeps us bound as apposed to being free – that which we already are.

I have spoken a little on fear in my other post which can link well with this one:  Finding Peace Through Letting Go – Non Clinging, Non Striving & Balance

We can truly fear so much and recognising fear for what it is in terms of being another “object” in the world to be aware of, is sometimes all that is needed.

Fear(anger) links to the ego – “our story”, “our past”, the “I” and “me” we always feel we have to defend and bolster.
The ego makes us think we are lacking and small(see previous link to post). That, which is actually small and non existent really. Fear and our ego are illusions against the backdrop against who we truly are – inherent love, light, peace and abundance.

Through practising awareness, meditation and mindlfuness and realising “who we are”, we can start to see this.  I will write a specific post on the Ego.

We are or can be angry(fearful) at times if not very often. Outrightly at “injustice”; things not going as we want it; what society dictates; life; death; people; even the weather; having to work, not enough money, etc etc.
Basically, nothing ever really going “our” way and never feeling satisfied. I am generalising but at one point or another, we have all felt this.

And these feelings if you examine them are all based in either the past or the future – striving or clinging(as per link to above post) and not being in the present moment.

Anger is a great “pointer” to when we are feeling fear.
As I have stated in my other post and above, I believe this fear is a deep spiritual lacking we may feel. Feeling anger however can allow us to stop, recenter and remember that we are life, peace & love as we were created by God with abundance, accessible in the present moment.

Let me not lose anyone with the above comment and carry on with how letting go of anger can pave the way to seeing life more clearly and peacefully.

Recognising Anger

A quote that has stuck with me, is one from Eckart Tolle, “You are never upset for the reason you think.”  So so true and a great quote to remember. This is exactly the “kick the dog” scenario because we are having a “bad” day.

Anger can lie hidden behind emotions and feelings such as impatience, anxiety, striving, apathy, procrastination, stress, impatience, etc and sometimes very subtly – towards your spouse, boss or employees, children etc. As mentioned before, sometimes anger can be justified but very few times.  Just investigate these feelings to uncover what is really going on.

Your body will signal when you are angry, in fact your body is your communicator for your emotions. Recognising them for exactly what they are can sometimes be difficult however. When I am angry, I can almost feel my body “grinding” inside and complete resistance. Anger can drain your energy too, so just be aware of that.

This apposed to when we are feeling love & peace and living in the present. We have an almost light, “harmonious” feeling in both body and mind.

And what is anger really but directed at yourself and projected out to the world..?
Bear with me…
If you were truly enlightened, content and knew you already had everything(material things being a complete illusion) and loved yourself and others what would you need to be angry about..? We do have this but that is for another post…

Having said that, we are human and we are living and learning, so no need to be angry at being angry. We need to just be aware.

Have you realised the commentary going on in your mind about yourself and the world and maybe how you are not good enough, or should have done this, or done that?
Give it some real thought…
This is the basis for anger towards others and the world – again, very subtle but it is there. Again, don’t fixate but just be aware.

What will Anger Achieve?

As mentioned before, there is a place for anger but few and far between.

We think being angry will get us somewhere. Anger is resistance and resistance does not gain anything ultimately.

Or, we think being angry will change someones mind and we will have “our way”, which is either conscious or subconscious. You can never change some ones mind, period. It might seem it at the time but unless some one has made the decision for themselves, then no one else will make it for them.

We do not need to show or experience anger in order to show “our worth” or to not be taken advantage of.  In fact this could become a “stumbling block” and work the other way as we now start to feel and look imbalanced and quite emotional and anger will “cloud” our judgement, throwing you off your “seat of awareness”.

Anger is not great for your body either.
Disease is anger directed inwards. I am not going to go in-depth here nor comment on the role of genes and their bearing but I will say there is more to our minds, body and spirit and how we can heal ourselves than we realise. “Science” today is showing connections between thoughts and the nervous system and how it has a bearing on our immune system.

Action Plan
  • The opposite to Fear(Anger) is Love. Be kind to yourself, love yourself and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:39
    Anger is defensiveness(weakness) and separates us whereas Love is all encompassing(strength).
  • Practice being aware of your thoughts and emotions through mediation and mindfulness. Once you can “see” and feel when anger arises, this is true awakening. Not necessarily needing to change anything but more a case of being aware and present with yourself in a non-judging way. Naturally through non-resistance, non-judging and awareness we can understand and let it pass and ultimately let it go.
  • Having said the above, our power is in choice and we have the choice to let go of anger once we are aware of it. We do not need to carry it. It has no relevance or benefits.
    I remember rushing to get things done and being so absolutely stressed but mainly because I was angry. Letting go of anger allowed me to still get things done at a relative pace but with more peace, positive energy and happiness.

    But however painful our experiences may be, they are just painful experiences until we add the response of hatred or aversion. Only then does suffering arise
    . –Jack Kornfield

I believe we and the “world” can burden ourselves so much and so unnecessarily and this quote from the Bible seems to resonate:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart; and you will find rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
—Matthew 11:25-30

Here is a great link to a post on “Dealing With Anger” I came across which highlights many points I have made with a little more “Science” based knowledge and some “action plans” too:
http://www.okbar.org/members/BarJournal/archive2017/MarchArchive2017/OBJ8808Stockwell.aspx

Note: I hope this has been informative, approachable and uplifting.
Please don’t overthink any if this information but rather letting it “sow a seed” and allowing awareness and awakening to take place.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Enjoy & Be kind to yourself.